brokenness

Months ago at a Relief Society meeting, we made our own Kintsugi. One of my good friends brought sparkly gold glue for hot glue guns, and then we each took a perfectly good bowl or plate, put it inside a pillowcase, and used a hammer to break it. I remember thinking, "one hit, make it count..." and so I did. I like that my blue square plate broke into five decent chunks. That made it easier to reassemble. (idea credit: probably pinterest)

Image result for japanese pottery gold

Peter Mayer sings a great ballad about Japanese Bowls. The photography and illustrations are beautiful. It's slow but I love the guitar. japanese bowl

I’m like one of those Japanese bowls
That were made long ago
I have some cracks in me
They have been filled with gold

That’s what they used back then
When they had a bowl to mend
It did not hide the cracks
It made them shine instead

So now every old scar shows
From every time I broke
And anyone’s eyes can see
I’m not what I used to be

But in a collector’s mind
All of these jagged lines
Make me more beautiful
And worth a much higher price

I’m like one of those Japanese bowls
I was made long ago
I have some cracks you can see
See how they shine of gold

In thinking about brokenness, this sculpture is a profound metaphor.
It's called Expansion, by Paige Bradley.
I love it.
Image result for expansion statue

If my soul glows just a little bit, then how does that light escape? Through the eyes, through the smile, but definitely through the broken cracks. This past season has been filled with heavy burdens and difficult decisions for me and my husband. Maybe when things break apart, maybe when pain and grief seem impossible, maybe that's the moment when the soul actually expands or cracks through this outer shell.

Matthew 5:16 has always been one of my favorites. Jesus instructed his followers to: "Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father which is in heaven."

Wisdom comes after things fall apart. The process of putting them back together somehow yields more light. CS Lewis wrote about cottages being made into mansions. I quoted him back here. work in progress He said it pretty well. His point is that God is the master builder and He knows exactly what He's doing. So even when there are unanswered questions, even when we're waiting, we just trust and let His timing and His wisdom eventually mold us into what we need to be.

Post Script
September 2019 Yesterday I went to TOFW in Arlington and was delighted to hear the talented
Calee Reed. Her song "Broken and Beautiful" describes this process beautifully.

Post Script

November 2021

I LOVE the Younique Foundation and the work they do with survivors of child abuse. This video resonates with me and explains more about the idea of kintsugi and healing after trauma.

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